Dr. Amudha Jayaraj

The inspiration for starting the Bangalore Chapter of FOD was Dr. Amudha, who was its guiding light and motivating factor for almost two years.

Dr. Amudha, a qualified psychiatrist, was the victim of an automobile accident in 1991, which left her paralysed below the shoulders. Underterred by the severity of her handicap, she restarted her practice after a gap of two years, and also began extensive training work in counselling with Banjara Academy. Her articles were published in Women’s Era, Young Mother, and various lesser known magazines. Amudha’s touching poems also brought accolades.

Amudha was a person with an immense reservoir of inner strength, tranquility, and perseverance. Facing innumerable odds, she went about her work with a smile on her face. She was giving the final touches to her plan of starting a half-way home for mentally affected persons, when illness struck her down. For fifty two days she smiled through the ventilator that helped her breathe, always enquiring about the welfare of her visitors. Perhaps the guiding light was needed more urgently beyond the horizon. On 30th July’95 she passed away, leaving the shining example of her life to disperse the ensuing darkness.

GRIEVE AND LET GO

When I think of my past,
The things, that I have lost
I am told I shall feel better
If I grieve and let go.

The years of my toil
The efforts that went wasted
The skills that I have lost
I will grieve and let go

I cannot walk or run
Sit or stand by myself
Or even just move
I will grieve and let go.

The warmth of an embrace
The pleasure of a caress
I can no longer feel
I will grieve and let go.

I cannot hug my child
I do not feel her touch
I cannot feel her skin
Should I grieve and let go?

If I grieve and let go
All things that are worth
What do I have
To cherish and hold on?

Dr. Amudha (1957-1995)

Source: The Voice of FOD
Issue: Dated July-Dec 1995